Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
