She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
