She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
