so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
