a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
