Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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