Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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