Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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