I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
