it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
