Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
