But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
