This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
