jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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