Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
bring money and cleavage
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize