i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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