My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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