that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
