We're facebook friends in real life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
