I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
