Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
