wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
