Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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