you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize