oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
