He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
