i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
