I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
