How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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