She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
