I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
