Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
