i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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