When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
