You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
