Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
