i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
