i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My dick has a subreddit
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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