I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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