I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
only you would photoshop your dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
