thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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