yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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