Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
