whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
