no, he came in my armpit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
