My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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