paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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