It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
