That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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