Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
