You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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