Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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