so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
