I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
