even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
