I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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