she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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