lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize